Wednesday, July 15, 2009

i have a really strong feeling, that its not going to work any much longer. omg, im at work right now & i really feel like breaking down & crying. but i have to hold myself together, for now. we got into a big argument last night over nothing. & through my head im thinking like should i not care, like i do? because for some reason i feel that that's holding us together. like i want to give up, BUT that might of been my problem before. like some STRONG true advise is needed right now. i love him so much, it ridiculous. like i try to do EVERYTHING i can to keep him happy as much as i can. like seriously. i changed some of my stubborn ways, hella shit. but now, i really wanna knw is it gonna pay off at the end? omg, this is hurting me so bad, thats he's not answering his phone or replying to my text. im so afraid that i might go home & all his stuff will be gone. but if so, he's a grown man, & i just hope he thought deep about his decision. & if he thinks its the right choice, then hey; cant do anything to change his mind.

well update tomorrow i guess....

Monday, July 13, 2009

deep thought.

have you ever like, took some time & thought about how your life is going? sort of like a reality check to yourself.

well recently ive been thinking how my life is pretty great, but yet could be waayyy better. like IF i wouldve went to college right after i graduated. or like IF i wouldnt worry so much about things, that it'll work out easily. & IF i wouldve followed my goals, would my business have been a success by now. BUT THEN its like fck the what if's. its time to live for today & what lies ahead of me. im ready to live life like an ULTRA-RESPONSIBLE adult, that i knw indeed i can be. a life that i knw that either way, everything will be okay about me & my son. there will be no one i can blame for my mistakes & problems. it all lies on my shoulder to what i can & will become. i knw it wont be easy, or come to me fast. but im willing to work hard & wait on the perfect outcome. =)